You Like? Please Share.Trout Mask Replica. I know. I know. This is one of the greatest albums ever created. And it constantly makes the critics “Top Whatever” list ever year. Shit, every week it seems. But I just can’t listen to it. And I’m not even sure where to start, but I suppose we could […]
Scooper Review: Trout Mask Replica by Captain Beefheart
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Scooper Review: Glass Houses by Billy Joel
You Like? Please Share.As if Billy Joel needed to prove himself after selling millions of garbage albums. With Glass Houses, Joel set out to prove that a crooning, mediocre songwriter could actually rock rather than incapacitating his couch-listening wine drinkers. Glass Houses features louder, not loud guitars, bigger drum mixes, and the same shitty lyrics that […]
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Local Unplugged Musician Reduced to Silence
Local hip-hop musician "JP Cube a.k.a. Lethal Chrome" has been reduced to 45 minutes of silence after attempting to produce an "unplugged" album.
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Tupac/Osama bin Laden Team Up for New Album
After years of industry speculation and rumor, American superstar rapper Tupac Shakur and renown international terrorist Osama bin Laden have joined forces for the first time to create the world's first cross-cultural rap album.
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KVMR DJ Falls Asleep During Radio Broadcast
A KVMR broadcaster accidentally fell asleep during her overnight Native American flute show American Timbres which broadcasts from 2am to 5am. Around 3:30am listeners reported that the popular local radio station "went dead" and all they could hear was the soft, yet distinct sound of gentle snoring.
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Pink Floyd to Tour Without Pink Floyd Songs
The surviving members of legendary rock band Pink Floyd will reunite next year with a North American tour. A tour that the band says will be “on Pink Floyd's terms.”
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Keith Richards Found Not Dead in San Francisco Hotel
Emergency personnel were summoned to the posh Bourges Hotel in San Francisco's Fisherman's Wharf District this morning. In an official briefing at 10 am, Pacific time, in the Bourges convention hall, Ms. D’lune spoke through tears to the media.
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Metallica’s James Hetfield Celebrates a PhD in Astrophysics
Metallica heavy metal guitarist and lead singer James Hetfield announced on his personal Facebook page that he had just finished defending his PhD dissertation at California Institute of Technology in Pasadena (CalTech), CA
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NFL Books King Diamond for Superbowl 51
Responding to outrage over Beyonce's halftime performance at Superbowl 50, officials at the National Football League (NFL) have stated their intent to host Danish heavy metal artist King Diamond at Superbowl 51.
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Heavy Metal Legends Megadeth to Play for Bernie Sanders
The pioneering heavy metal band Megadeth has offered to play at Sanders' upcoming rally before the next primary on Saturday, March 5th in Michigan, and the Sanders campaign has enthusiastically accepted.
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White Stripes Drummer Meg White To Replace Rush’s Neil Peart
Fans of the Progressive Canadian rock band Rush breathed a collective sigh of relief after lead guitarist Alex Lifeson announced that former White Stripes drummer will replace the ailing Neil Peart on an upcoming North American tour.
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You Got Trouble: Donald Trump to Play The Music Man’s Harold Hill
Presidential and firebrand nationalist candidate Donald Trump will play the lead role in the upcoming Broadway revival of Meredith Wilson's The Music Man.
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Jim Morrison Found Alive In Paris Assisted Living Facility
According to Reuters and the Associated Press International, James Douglas Morrison, the lead singer of the rock group, “The Doors,” is alive in a Paris retirement home.
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Cher To Wed Robert Plant At Westminster Abbey
Cher’s longtime publicist announced this morning that Pop Icon Cher and Rock Icon Robert Plant have reserved the Westminster Abbey for their wedding on July 17th.
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Alice Cooper Rejoins Mormon Church
Alice Cooper, after decades of hard rocking, drinking, drugging and hard living, made a startling announcement today as he left a local Mormon church after the service concluded.
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ZZ Top’s Billy Gibbons and 3 Others Dead in Fiery Car Crash
Authorities in Houston announced this morning that a fiery car crash last evening took the life of Texas native and ZZ Top guitarist, Billy Gibbons.
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Robert Fripp Retires to Teach Guitar in Derry, New Hampshire
Esteemed progressive guitar player Robert Fripp announced that he is retiring from his leadership position in King Crimson, and plans on spending his days at a Derry, New Hampshire's Smash Music located on East Broadway Street.
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Sting Stung In New Jersey Human Trafficking Bust
Officials in Atlantic City are very tight lipped today in regards to a human trafficking bust that took place on the street outside of the Trump Taj Mahal hotel and casino.
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Nickelback To Open For United States Leg of AC/DC Tour
Rock legends AC/DC are planning a winter tour that will kick off November 23rd in Portland, OR. The will feature the band with special guest appearances by Guns N Roses front man Axel Rose. To open the concerts AC/DC has tapped rock band Nickelback to perform.
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Megadeth/Bernie Sanders to Join Forces at Hillary Clinton Rally
As the November election approaches, Democratic presidential candidate Hillary Clinton has just been greeted with another round of good news. The pioneering heavy metal band Megadeth has offered to play at an upcoming Hillary Clinton rally on Saturday, October 15th in Macon, Georgia, and the Clinton campaign has enthusiastically accepted.
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Reuters: Cat Stevens Passing Not Related To The Clintons
Cat Stevens, also known as Yusuf Islam, also known as Steven Georgiou, is a British singer- songwriter, humanitarian, and activist. Most notably, he walked away from a productive music career to become a humanitarian voice.
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The Scooper Salutes Our Heroes: Leonard Cohen Dead at 82
Leonard Cohen, the hugely influential singer and songwriter whose work spanned nearly 50 years, died at the age of 82.
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The Scooper Salutes Our Heroes: Gwen Ifill Dead at 61.
Veteran television journalist Gwen Ifill, the longtime host of PBS’ “Washington Week” and co-anchor of “PBS NewsHour,” has died. She was 61. A PBS spokesperson confirmed that Ifill passed away Monday after a months-long battle with cancer.
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Ozzy Osbourne and Keith Richards Oddly Survive 2016
Veteran and aging rockers Keith Richard and Ozzy Osbourne seem to have escaped what other popular musicians have not been able to do: 2016.
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Holographic Kurt Cobain to Appear at 2018 CES in Las Vegas
After what people are calling the most successful and exciting Consumer Electronics Show (CES) in 2017, organizers of the yearly festival have announced that rock legend Kurt Cobain will close out the 2018 3 day event in holographic form sponsored by Samsung.
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Area Rabbit Unimpressed by 1980s-era New Wave Music
An area rabbit has become extremely bored after listening to 44 year old Jamie Andrews entire Duran Duran music collection. His Rabbit "Vampire" has be Mr. Andrews' companion for over 2 years and up until this point, considered herself a "music eclectic."
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North Korean High School Band Disciplined for Playing Cream’s “Badge”
The North Korean news service is reporting this week that a group of Pyongyang High School students are currently be disciplined for spontaneously breaking into an unapproved version of the British Band Cream's iconic 1969 psychedelic hit "Badge."
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Caltech Physicist: Rock N’ Roll Actually Euphemism For Fornication
According to CalTech astrophysicist Dr. Tral Aldrich, there is a distinct possibility that the popular form of music known as 'Rock N' Roll' is really just a euphemism for fornication.
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Stryper Comeback Tour to Feature Satanic Theme
Popular 1980s Christian Heavy Metal band Stryper announced over the weekend that they are mounting a comeback tour with a what some are calling an ironic twist: a satanic theme.
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CA Gov. Jerry Brown and Linda Ronstadt Spotted Together at Nevada City Tavern
California Governor Jerry Brown and pop singer Linda Ronstadt were back in the news this week when the two were spotted at a popular Nevada City, California tavern Friday night.
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John Denver: The Untold Story of a Vietnam Sniper
During the 1970s he was arguably the most popular performer in the United State and exported his unique brand of optimism around the globe. But few know of his darker past, which the talented bard fought an internal battle for the rest of his life.
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Area Boomer Recalls the 3 Days He Spent in the Woodstock Festival Traffic Jam
Retired 10th grade English teacher David Blakemore of Nevada City recent spoke to a small gathering in Nevada Union High School's drama department about his exciting adventures during the 1969 Woodstock Music & Art Fair.
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Queen Stuns Private Buckingham Palace Audience With 16 Minute Sitar Jam
According to reports from inside Buckingham Palace, Queen Elizabeth II of England surprised a private gathering today when she played 3 songs on the sitar.
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Rush’s Geddy Lee Gigs as One Man Band at Area Mall
Canadian musician Geddy Lee made an appearance today at the at Sarnia's Lambton Mall playing a variety instruments in a "one man band" configuration called "Doctor Lee's One Man Band."
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4 Killed, Several Wounded at Duran Duran Concert
In what's being described as a "tragic scene" during a stirring rendition of the "Reflex," several thousand small girls rushed the stage during a live Duran Duran performance at the Pshaw Millennium Park.
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The Scooper Salutes Our Heroes: Jerry Lewis Dead at 91
Jerry Lewis, the comedian and filmmaker who was adored by many, disdained by others, but unquestionably a defining figure of American entertainment in the 20th century, died on Sunday morning at his home in Las Vegas.
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ISIS Fighters to Perform in Sacramento
SIS Fighters, a famous punk band from eastern Syria, will be playing at Harlow's in Sacramento this weekend.
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The Scooper Salutes Our Heroes: Paul Horner Dead at 76
Fake-news pioneer Paul Horner, whose hoaxes drew international attention on the Internet and during the 2016 presidential election, died in Phoenix on Sept. 18, officials confirmed. He was 76-ish.
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Johnny Rotten Impersonates Palace Guard
Westminster, England — An American tourist snapped a photograph of what appeared to be John Lydon impersonating one of Queen Elizabeth II’s guards in front of Buckingham Palace earlier this week. Cedar Ridge, CA resident Pete Johnson and his wife Jennifer were on their annual vacation to England, when Mrs. Johnson snapped what appeared to […]
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Sammy Hagar To Front The David Lee Roth Band
In a joint press conference today at Hennessey’s Tavern on the Hermosa Beach Pier, David Lee Roth and Sammy Hagar announced that they would be hitting the road together in a joint venture of The David Lee Roth Band.
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The Scooper Salutes Our Heroes: Prince Dead at 57
The artist known as Prince, then as nothing, then as Prince again who pioneered “the Minneapolis sound†and took on the music industry in his fight for creative freedom, died Thursday at age 57.
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Willie Nelson Found Alive In Tour Bus
Famous "outlaw" American Country musician, singer and songwriter Willie Nelson was found alive and well in his tour bus parked at a Holiday Inn Express on Franklin Blvd in downtown Eugene, Oregon.
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Eminem to Play Tupac Shakur in New Biopic
Eminem is set to play Tupac Shakur in the upcoming biopic All Eyez on Me, which is set to be released later this year.
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AC/DC Ties Axl Rose to Chair With Amazing Results [VIDEO]
AC/DC has found that restraining Axl Rose to a chair produced amazing results. According to stage hands back stage, Mr. Rose was not aware of the plot to restrain him to a chair until moments before the show began on Saturday night.
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Ozzy Osbourne Only Slightly Killed by a Crazy Train Wreck
British rocker Ozzy Osbourne was run over by a train yesterday afternoon in Birmingham. The train was reported to have been acting a little crazy, as eyewitnesses reported that it seemed to be steering directly toward a distracted Osbourne.
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Joni Mitchell Cured of Morgellons, Claims Dr. Joseph Mercola
According to renowned alternative medicine proponent Dr. Joseph Mercola, pop star Joni Mitchell has been cured of Morgellons Disease after a 15 month treatment using a variety of products purchased from his his website Mercola.com.
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Taylor Swift: Secret Neo-Nazi Operative?
The American neo-Nazi movement, which prefers to be called the "alternative right," has latched onto to the mega star whom they believe is the “Nazi Avatar Of The White European People.†However is there more to the story?
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Area Non-Binary Social Justice Warrior Disillusioned by Trans-Siberian Orchestra
New York City's Amanda Hyman, a self-proclaimed, non-binary Social Justice Warrior, is upset by the lack of actual transgender people in the Trans-Siberian Orchestra. She wants them to take 'Trans' out of their name.
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The Scooper Salutes Our Heroes: David Cassidy Dead at 67
David Cassidy, a singer and actor whose androgynous features and jaunty voice made him a 1970s teen heartthrob on the "The Partridge Family" television show, died on Tuesday at age 67, his publicist said.
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Mike Pence a Closet Iron Maiden Fan, Claims College Boyfriend
New revelations from an old "friend" of Vice President Mike Pence claim that the now ultra-conservative, evangelical Christian was a closet fan of the 1980s heavy metal band Iron Maiden.
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