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Alice Cooper Rejoins Mormon Church

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Veteran rocker Alice Cooper has re-joined the Mormon church.Alice Cooper, after decades of hard rocking, drinking, drugging and hard living, made a startling announcement today as he left a local Mormon church after the service concluded.

ZZ Top’s Billy Gibbons and 3 Others Dead in Fiery Car Crash

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ZZ Top's Billy Gibbons [right] and three others were found in a fiery car crash.Authorities in Houston announced this morning that a fiery car crash last evening took the life of Texas native and ZZ Top guitarist, Billy Gibbons.

Robert Fripp Retires to Teach Guitar in Derry, New Hampshire

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Legendary guitar player and King Crimson founder Robert Fripp is retiring to teach guitar at a Derry, New Hampshire music store.Esteemed progressive guitar player Robert Fripp announced that he is retiring from his leadership position in King Crimson, and plans on spending his days at a Derry, New Hampshire's Smash Music located on East Broadway Street.

Sting Stung In New Jersey Human Trafficking Bust

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Legend pop artist Sting got stung in an Atlantic City, New Jersey.Officials in Atlantic City are very tight lipped today in regards to a human trafficking bust that took place on the street outside of the Trump Taj Mahal hotel and casino.

Nickelback To Open For United States Leg of AC/DC Tour

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Famed band Nickelback will open select dates for AC/DC on their North American leg of their tour.Rock legends AC/DC are planning a winter tour that will kick off November 23rd in Portland, OR. The will feature the band with special guest appearances by Guns N Roses front man Axel Rose. To open the concerts AC/DC has tapped rock band Nickelback to perform.

MIT Scientists Successfully Clone Angus Young

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Margaret Vanda, staff scientist at MITSpeaking at a press conference this afternoon at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology (MIT), a team of world-renowned scientists led by AC/DC aficionado Fil “SoloDallas” Olivieri, announced they have successfully cloned rock guitar legend Angus Young.

Ex AC/DC Singer Brian Johnson Debuts New Hoover Vacuum Jingle: VIDEO

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Hoover's latest spokesperson, ex-AC/DC front man Brian JohnsonJohnson debuted his new Hoover vacuum jingle to mixed reviews over the weekend. “It fucking rocks,” said longtime AC/DC die-hard, Larry Burgess. “It sounds like he did took a time machine back to the early 80’s. Powerful stuff man!”

Megadeth/Bernie Sanders to Join Forces at Hillary Clinton Rally

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Megadeth_Bernie_SandersAs the November election approaches, Democratic presidential candidate Hillary Clinton has just been greeted with another round of good news. The pioneering heavy metal band Megadeth has offered to play at an upcoming Hillary Clinton rally on Saturday, October 15th in Macon, Georgia, and the Clinton campaign has enthusiastically accepted.

KISS Army Shrinks to Pre-World War II Level

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Experts are concerned that KISS army levels have dropped to pre-World War II levels.The KISS Army reported this weekend that the army’s end strength for September was 479,172. That’s 154 fewer soldiers than the service’s previous post-World War II low, which was reached during the Music From The Elder draw-down of 1981.

Reuters: Cat Stevens Passing Not Related To The Clintons

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The passing of Cat Stevens today had nothing to do with Hillary Clinton.Cat Stevens, also known as Yusuf Islam, also known as Steven Georgiou, is a British singer- songwriter, humanitarian, and activist. Most notably, he walked away from a productive music career to become a humanitarian voice.

The Scooper Salutes Our Heroes: Leonard Cohen Dead at 82

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Singer, songwriter, poet, author and stand-up comedian Leonard Cohen died today at the age of 82.Leonard Cohen, the hugely influential singer and songwriter whose work spanned nearly 50 years, died at the age of 82.

The Scooper Salutes Our Heroes: Gwen Ifill Dead at 61.

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Veteran television journalist Gwen Ifill has died at the age of 61.Veteran television journalist Gwen Ifill, the longtime host of PBS’ “Washington Week” and co-anchor of “PBS NewsHour,” has died. She was 61. A PBS spokesperson confirmed that Ifill passed away Monday after a months-long battle with cancer.

Area Man Still Sucks at Sitar

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Poor playing hasn't stopped David “Davi” Simmons from playing his favorite instrument. Seen here at his usual place on Commercial Street.David “Davi” Simmons vividly remembers hearing the sitar for the very first time. It was during a late night “sesh” back in high school when a friend played him George Harrison’s Within You Without You from The Beatles late sixties masterpiece, Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band.

Ozzy Osbourne and Keith Richards Oddly Survive 2016

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Somehow both Ozzy Osbourne and Keith Richards have escaped the grips of death in 2016.Veteran and aging rockers Keith Richard and Ozzy Osbourne seem to have escaped what other popular musicians have not been able to do: 2016.

Holographic Kurt Cobain to Appear at 2018 CES in Las Vegas

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Former Nirvana front man Kurt Cobain will close out the annual 2018 Consumer Electronics Show in holographic form.After what people are calling the most successful and exciting Consumer Electronics Show (CES) in 2017, organizers of the yearly festival have announced that rock legend Kurt Cobain will close out the 2018 3 day event in holographic form sponsored by Samsung.

Ted Nugent Shouts Allahu Akbar! After Blowing Up Marshall Stack

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Ted Nugent whole heartily agrees with President Trump’s executive order banning Muslims from entering the United States.Judging by his antics during last night’s blistering performance at Eagle’s Lake Bingo & Casino, County Fair rocker Ted Nugent whole heartily agrees with President Trump’s executive order banning Muslims from entering the United States.

Area Rabbit Unimpressed by 1980s-era New Wave Music

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Area Rabbit "Vampire" says she can't stand the 1980s New Wave band Duran Duran.An area rabbit has become extremely bored after listening to 44 year old Jamie Andrews entire Duran Duran music collection. His Rabbit "Vampire" has be Mr. Andrews' companion for over 2 years and up until this point, considered herself a "music eclectic."

North Korean High School Band Disciplined for Playing Cream’s “Badge”

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A North Korean file photo of The Dear Leaders taken last year performing the national anthem.The North Korean news service is reporting this week that a group of Pyongyang High School students are currently be disciplined for spontaneously breaking into an unapproved version of the British Band Cream's iconic 1969 psychedelic hit "Badge."

Caltech Physicist: Rock N’ Roll Actually Euphemism For Fornication

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According to CalTech astrophysicist Dr. Tral Aldrich, rock-n-roll might be a euphemism for sex.According to CalTech astrophysicist Dr. Tral Aldrich, there is a distinct possibility that the popular form of music known as 'Rock N' Roll' is really just a euphemism for fornication.

Stryper Comeback Tour to Feature Satanic Theme

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Christian Heavy Metal artists Stryper announced they will be folding into Satanic themes into their music and shows going forward.Popular 1980s Christian Heavy Metal band Stryper announced over the weekend that they are mounting a comeback tour with a what some are calling an ironic twist: a satanic theme.
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